Saturday, June 6, 2009

Summer 09's Five Best Worst Trailer Lines

#5 X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Hugh Jackman: “I know who you are, Gambit!”

In the same way that Yoda turned in Episode III after thanking a particular wookie and added, “…CHEWBACCA!” Fox expects series fans to go apeshit over namedropping Gambit in the Wolverine trailer. If they really wanted to pander to the fans, maybe they should have just made an enjoyable film.

#4 Angels and Demons
Narrator: “He exposed one of the greatest cover-ups in human history.”
Someone: “Da Vinci!”

I’m pretty sure the target audience for “Angels and Demons” knows what the Da Vinci code is. Not only is the V.O. overlaid on images of the Last Supper and the Vitruvian Man, but it appears after Professor Langdon (Tom Hanks) is reintroduced. I guarantee you that someone over at Sony pictures wanted to call this thing “Da Vinci Code 2: Da Vincier.”

#3 Inglorious Basterds:
Brad Pitt: “And I want my scalps!”

Not quite sure what Tarantino is going for with this one, but Brad Pitt’s already getting shit for his delivery of this gem. The tone seems a little uneven in the released footage, and nowhere is that more apparent than in this uncomfortable close up.

#2 Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Shia LaBeouf:
“Megatron wants what’s in my mind!”

The Transformers 2 trailer is riddled with giggle-worthy melodrama, usually involving Shia LaBeouf trying to sound dramatic when shouting the names of robots from a two-decade-old children’s cartoon series. “Optimuuuussssss!” is a close second.

#1 G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Secret Army Guy:
“Standing in front of you are Delta Six accelerator suits”
Marlon Wayans: “What’s it accelerate?”
Secret Army Guy: “You.”

And world’s stupidest question goes to… Marlon Wayans! Grammar confusion notwithstanding, what the fuck else would an accelerator
suit accelerate? Your career?

Honorable mention:
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Megan Fox:
“I’m not gonna GO without you!”

The Transformers trailer is so silly that you can’t really stop at just one or two quotes. Shia LaBeouf’s somehow hot girlfriend adds curious emphasis to the word “go” in her sentence. Flat out hilarious inflection.

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